Boredom is taking over. It is bad not having a job. I have sent in application after application after application to no avail. No one wants to hire an RN with 11years of experience. I am too expensive of a commodity in today's market and poor economical state.

So what does one do without a job aside of keep putting applications in? One sits around doing nothing. Had been doing something until my camera took a nose dive. Now I have nothing to do. I sit at home watch TV, play on the computer, take the dogs out to potty and to romp a little bit. Here and there I go visit my nephews. It has become a doldrum. A continuous cycle day after day. It is making me mad (not as in angry mad, rather as in crazy...stir crazy.) The weather hasn't helped that much here lately. The snow and the cold. Would like to take pictures, guess I could resort back to my old film cameras for now. It will be awhile before I can get the film developed though. Have to conserve money.

Only one good thing has happened. I am at least dating again. It has been a long time since I have dated anyone. My last relationship was a disaster and I have only but had a few flings here and there since, but nothing really akin to dating. I met this gentleman. He is almost like a strange dream come true. He lives an hours drive from me in the town of Sparta, TN. We have so much in common it is eerie. It is almost like we were meant to be together. It is strange. He is a divorcee after 15 years of a marriage that just never really worked. He has a son who is 13. He also has ex step children who are grown but with whom he still keeps in contact with because he is pretty much the one who raised them. We like the same movies, TV shows, music, so on and so forth. It is surreal. So much so I keep asking myself where he has been all my life. At the same time, I am doubtful and recalcitrant and ready to bolt the more we date each other, the more I open up. I want to close the walls back up and run because I do not trust. I keep in constant guard of my feelings. Indeed I do not know if I am capable of opening up fully. Part of me says no. I am off balanced. I wish I could tell him, but alas I cannot....Sighs...why is everything so damn complicated?